God’s will vs Self-acceptance
- God’s will
- “to seek and obey the will of God”
- Self-acceptance
- “to accept myself as I am”
You notice something about yourself. It might be a habit, a want or a way you are made. One voice says to bring it to God and ask what should be done with it. Another says this is you, and you do not need to fix it to be worth something. On many days the two voices agree. The hard days are when what you believe God asks and what you know about yourself point different ways.
On the map, God’s will sits in the Tradition area, on the side of keeping things steady, while Self-acceptance sits in the Self-direction–thought area, on the side of openness to change.
Seeking God’s will gives you a measure outside your own moods. You are not the final judge of yourself, and that can be a relief. It can lift you past what you would settle for. It ties you to a faith and a people who have walked this road before you. But it can ask you to change, give things up or obey when you would rather not.
Self-acceptance gives you peace with the self you actually live in. You stop waiting to become worthy before you rest. You trust your own honest reading of who you are. It guards against shame that never ends. But it can slide into settling, or into making yourself the only measure.
What makes this pair hard is that both claim to be about truth. Many faiths teach that God loves you as you are, so the two can overlap more than they clash. The collision comes over the parts of you a tradition asks you to change. And it is not always clear which voice is which. A call to change might be God’s will, or it might be the voice of the people around you. Your peace with yourself might be real acceptance, or it might be a way to avoid a hard step.
When a part of you does not fit what you believe God asks, is your next move to change that part, or to keep it and look again at what you were taught?
What choosing one over the other tends to mean
God’s will over Self-acceptance
If you put God’s will above Self-acceptance, you let what you believe God asks set the terms, even about yourself. You bring your traits, wants and habits to prayer or scripture and stay willing to change them. This can give you a steady aim and a real humility. The cost is that you may live with a gap between who you are and who you think you should be, and some parts of you may feel on trial for a long time.
Self-acceptance over God’s will
If you put Self-acceptance above God’s will, you start from the person you are and treat that as solid ground. When a teaching asks you to change something you know is deeply yours, you may question the teaching, or how it reached you, before you question yourself. This can bring rest and honesty. The cost is that you may drift from your faith community, lose the push of a calling beyond your comfort, or wonder later if you went too easy on yourself.
Where they collide
The path your family expects
Your family’s faith holds a clear picture of how a life should go, and they speak of it as God’s plan. You can tell you are not built for that picture. At a family gathering the topic comes up again. You can try to grow into the path they describe, or say plainly that this is not who you are and live with their worry.
Asked to lead at your congregation
Your congregation asks you to lead a group. Leading drains you, and you have made peace with being a quiet helper. Some say this is a call to grow past your comfort. You can say yes and trust you will be stretched, or say no because you know how you are made and want to serve in your own way.
A season of fasting
Your faith marks a season of fasting. Skipping meals leaves you short-tempered and foggy, and you are tired of fighting that part of yourself. You can keep the fast as written and treat the struggle as part of the point. Or you can shape it to fit how your body works and accept that limit without guilt.
An example even-over principle
God’s will even over Self-acceptance. When I notice a habit I like in myself but believe God asks me to give up, I will pray about it for a week and then take one concrete step to change it. I accept that I will sometimes feel less at ease with myself than I would like.
One example of the format, not advice. In Even Over you write your own, for the pairs your choices show.